Every January a big part of the population makes new year resolutions, they feel motivated and ready to start the new year on the right foot.  Google reports that there is a peak in searches on the first days of January for the following keywords: “diet”, “weight loss” and “gym in my area”. But surprisingly only 8% of these people actually accomplish anything by the end of the year.

The resolution fail numbers are so clear that some companies capitalize on these failures.  Gyms have been known for selling memberships over their capacity because they know that more than 50% of the people will drop out by the second week!

So in order to achieve what we actually want, we need to understand why these resolutions fail time after time.

1.      Resolutions are Vague

The first problem is that resolutions are just vague, some examples of these are:

• Lose weight
• Save money
• Learn something new

However, if we analyze these resolutions, we notice that they are totally vague, they don’t tell you anything.  We need specificity to make something more tangible.    How much weight do you want to lose? how much money do you want to save? what do you want to learn exactly?

By doing this, you are transforming your resolution into a goal you can set yourself to achieve.

Think of the specific outcome you want and as a second step write it down!   Why you might ask?  Research has found that we have 42% more probability to achieve something if we write these goals down.

When you see it on paper, you will tend to think of the steps or how to break down the goal into pieces that slowly you can start achieving.

2.      Resolutions are boring.

A coaching client of mine came to a session and told me his new year’s resolution was to create his own website.  His background is in finance, so I asked him why he wanted to do this.   He said he thought it would be a good challenge.  Then I asked if he was excited about this challenge, and after a long pause, he confessed that he was not, and actually was feeling overwhelmed already by all the information he found, even before he got started.

So here it is important to remember that every goal is a project but not every project is a goal.   During our year we are going to have to tackle projects that we are not excited about.  But a goal should totally be the opposite, it should feel us with energy and excitement every time we think about it.

Defining in advance what is your WHY,  will help you get back on track and feel excited again if the going gets tough.  When writing down you why, think of what will you earn by achieving this goal, but also what will you lose if you don’t.  These help put things in a different life.

3.      Goals are too easy

Many times people get discouraged because the goals are too easy.   If you are an entrepreneur that made €75.000 last year, your new goal could be €100.000.   It makes it exciting and infuses some fear in you because it is something out of your comfort zone.  This is the perfect combination for a goal.

However, if we would set the goal to €78.000, it becomes too easy, there is no excitement at all, so we forget about it, because it falls within our comfort zone

Lastly, if we would set the goal of €10’000.000, it will be in the delusional zone and we will give up sooner rather than later.

4.      Overwhelming

Another factor that determines failure is the number of goals we set for ourselves.   It is impossible to work on 20 goals at a time and be successful in all of them.

Make 4-8 goals maximum, and focus on those only.   You could divide them by category: Physical and Emotional Health,  Personal growth, Career, Finance, Significant other, friends,  family, Fun and Leisure

Check out the post: Goal setting – 7 steps to setting and achieving your goals, for a bulletproof method to do this

5.      Easily forgotten

The final reason why resolutions fail is that they lack a process to review them, so you can evaluate and change the course if needed.

to ensure you achieve the goals you set for yourself, start by making them visible.  Choose a place you look at regularly, your agenda, your bulletin board, the screen saver of your computer, etc.

Set a process for yourself to review, weekly, monthly, and quarterly, and commit to it.  Make sure you block the time to perform this review, so it is not easily forgotten.

Did you enjoy reading this post?  There is more interesting content on the blog

The post 5 reasons resolutions fail appeared first on Creciendo.

In many organizations, it is common practice to evaluate what has been achieved and set new goals for the next year.

But what about us? Shouldn’t we evaluate what have we done this year as well to improve our performance next year?

It does not take a lot of time, but it does require a couple of hours of your attention so you can have a good view of where you are and where you want to go next year.  Just answer the following questions

1. What went well?

In a fast-paced world, it is easier to forget what we have accomplished. We tend to look at our failures rather than our successes, when in fact this should be the starting point.  What are you proud of? What are your biggest wins for this year?

Reflecting on this helps you build confidence, and this my friend,  it is the stepping stone for self-improvement.

Write down 5-10 things that you are proud of.  You can take it to the next level by categorizing these achievements in the different dimensions of life: Career, Friends and Family, Hobbies, Finances, Relationships, Health, Personal Development, and Significant other.

2. What didn’t go well?

Sometimes things do not go according to plan.  Life happens and there are challenges along the way.  So it helps to be aware of what were the roadblocks that we encountered, so we can design a plan to overcome them in the future.

This is what personal growth is all about.  Here we will start reflecting on the things that did not go so well, and what were the reasons behind it. Take it a step further and reflect on that disappointment and how it made you feel.  The last part is the one that will inspire you to make the changes needed next year.

3. What did you learn?

Now that you have reviewed the successes and stumbles of this year, it is time to reflect on the lessons learned.  Challenge yourself to write at least 5 important lessons or AHA moments you might have had along the way.

What do these lessons ignite in you? What do you want to do differently next year? What do you want to stop, and where do you want to grow?

Once you have finished this exercise you are ready for the next step.  Setting up the goals for next year.  Make sure you check out the article Goal Setting: 7 steps to creating and achieving your goals, for a bulletproof method to get what you want.

DOWNLOAD below the FREE template to start your end-of-year self-Assessment

The post How to perform an end-of-year self-assessment appeared first on Creciendo.

Research has found that 92% of the resolutions people set at the beginning of the year are not achieved.  The reason?  Because there was not a clear goal, metrics, or action plan to achieve them.   On the contrary, it has been scientifically proven that people are 40% more likely to achieve their goals when they have set them clearly.  And there is even a 75% success rate if they have gone the extra step to write these goals down, and if they have a system to follow them up.

The good thing about goal setting is that we do not need to wait until the new year to get started.   We can choose to set goals today and start tomorrow if we want to.

This is a question many of my Coaching clients come up with.  And after more than 10 years of trial and error I have finally come up with a system that works for goal setting, so we can achieve what we strive for.

1.      Assess the current situation.

First of all, we need to make an evaluation of where we are right now.  Kind of a reality check.   With my clients, we always start with the wheel of life.   It is a simple exercise we all can do.

Download the template or draw the circle on a piece of paper.  Then divide it into 8 sections.

Each of these pieces will receive a name: Physical and Emotional Health, Personal growth, career, Finance, Significant other, friends,  family, Fun, and Leisure

The next step is to give a score to each of these categories.   Think of the middle as the zero, and the edge of the circle will be the 10.   We will give a number from 0-10 according to how we consider the situation right now.  For example.  If we give Health a score of ZERO, it will mean that we do not take care of our physical health at all.  On the contrary, a score of 10 will mean that we are in top shape and that our nutrition is balanced and adequate.     Think of a score of 10 as there is no more room for improvement.

Once you conclude by giving a score to each dimension, you will end up with something like this.

It will become apparent what areas of our life score high and others low.   And here is where we can start thinking of the objectives we want to achieve.  If one dimension has a score of 9, then probably we only need to take action to keep it as it is.  But an area that scores 5 or less, will require quick action.

2.      Define your why.

In my opinion, this is the most important step because when we set our goals, it is because we are motivated to get started.  But inevitably we will find obstacles along the way and there will be times when it gets harder.     This is the reason we should be clear about our why.    Why are you doing this? Why is it important for you to achieve this result?

For example.  Why do I want to spend more quality time with my significant other? Why is it important for our relationship? Or if you want you can flip it.  What would it happen if I don’t make space for quality time?

Also, if it’s your first time setting up goals, it will be important to reflect on your values.   This is something I recently discussed with a client with whom I’ve been working for 2 years.   She recently changed jobs and knowing exactly what her values in life are (balance, flexibility) allowed her to make the right career move.      This means that once you are clear on what you value -being this freedom, balance, career, service, etc-  you will know if your goals are aligned with who you truly are.  Feel free to download this template, so you can select the values you identify with.  TEMPLATE VALUES

A piece of advice would be to write down your WHY.   Because when the journey becomes hard, when you are losing motivation, and when you are about to give up.  Going back to your WHY will bring you the perspective you need, and will boost your motivation again.

3.      Define your goals and your success indicators (SMART GOALS)

Before I walk you through the process of creating goals, I want to remind you that the success indicators do not need to look the same for everyone.

For example.  For the longest time HEALTH was usually paired up with a WEIGHT GOAL.  However, this should not be the case.   You could choose to measure HEALTH as you please and tie this objective to the success indicators that make sense for you.  My clients for example have worked on different areas of health, and they have determined their own success indicators.   One has building muscle mass as an objective, the other wants to run a marathon, and someone else wants to move more in general.    So it is important to know that our success indicators do not need to look like everyone else’s.

To make sure we set clear goals these should be SMART. This acronym stands for:

– Specific: Be clear about what you want to achieve

– Measurable: Be clear on the metric you want to achieve

– Attainable: A goal should get you out of your comfort zone, but still be achievable

–  Relevant: Is this the right time to work on this goal?

– Time-bound: Define a clear deadline.

Let me give you a couple of examples.

One of my clients came to one of his sessions wanting to set goals for his personal growth.   He came with something in his mind:  “I want to learn more”.  But this was very vague.   So we worked on making the goal SMART.  After a few minutes of brainstorming, he came to the conclusion that he had no specific topic in mind to learn more about.   So he decided that he wanted to read books on different topics and genres to find out what he liked best.

So the goal became.

I will read 24 books this year

This was very specific and measurable.  He decided to split 24 books throughout the year and read 2 books per month.  Then we checked if this was attainable.  One book every two weeks was challenging but not impossible.   The goal was also relevant, he really wanted to develop himself more, and probably explore new career paths in the future, so learning new things made sense.  Finally, it was time bound.  He could clearly evaluate if he had accomplished the goal or not.

So you might be curious.  Did my client achieve his goal?   Let me tell you he did! And not only that, he found a topic he is passionate about and this year he moved into taking courses and learning more about that topic, and hence keeps working on his personal growth.

4.      Write them down

I started with this practice 4 years ago when I read a study from Harvard University, stating that writing your goals increases your chance of achieving them by 30%.

Some other striking information from this research was that 83% of the respondents had no mid or long-term goals, 14% of the population had goals and only 3% of them had goals and wrote them down.

It was also interesting to learn that  the action of writing makes the unconscious mind absorb the information better, and basically sets off an internal compass

I started writing my goals 4 years ago in all dimensions of my life.  Health, family relationships, personal growth, finances, etc, and when I look back at those notes, I can see how much has been accomplished.

5.      Create an action plan and set milestones

So you sat down and wrote down your SMART goals, now it is time to create an action plan that will help you to achieve them.   How?  Think of the actions and habits needed to achieve that goal.

For example, your goal is:  I will leave the corporate world and become a freelancer within 6 months.

So you will have to take many steps to make this goal a reality. You need to find out all the administrative steps you need to fulfill, you need to do market research and understand your customer needs in order to create a value proposition, you need to network and get new contacts, you need a draft business plan and make some financial projections, and you need to get some prospects of clients so you can hit to ground running as you leave your corporate job.

And these are only some pieces of the real work you need to do before you become a freelancer, but now you see the extent of the goal, you will be able to make chunks and set milestones for yourself, so your dream is achieved within 6 months.

6.      Implement

Having the goals on paper is great, but that is only the plan.  The real deal happens when we implement.   So it is best to split the goals throughout the year.   Try not to make them all bound to 31 December.   But to spread them around the different quarters and set milestones as you go.

7.      Follow up

One important tip that I have learned during these years is that you should periodically follow them up in order to check whether you are on the right track.

Reviewing and evaluating the status of a goal will depend on the type of goal and the deadline you set for yourself.  If you have a yearly goal you could review the status every quarter.  But if you have a quarterly goal, it will make more sense to review it once a month.

Remember that you can always change the plan. In the same way, we take an alternative road when there is an accident on the one that leads to our destination.  If the original plan is not working, review it, adapt it or change it altogether

Did you enjoy reading this post?  There is more interesting content on the blog

The post Goal Setting: 7 Steps to creating and achieving your goals appeared first on Creciendo.

Why do we need to be more assertive?

Becoming more assertive will not only lead us to express our point of view in a clear way but will also help us create boundaries for ourselves and hence prevent all the stress that accompanies the fear of confrontation.

However, becoming more assertive is a journey, and as such, it is important to analyze where we are right now, in order to make the changes needed to grow in the direction we want.

If we are not being assertive at the moment, we might be falling into one of these other communication styles

Assertive vs Passive communication

A passive communicator will struggle to express their want and needs.  He/she will usually wait for others to express their opinion before agreeing with the majority and will have a lot of trouble saying “No” to other people’s requests.

The problem with this type of communication style is that you will become invisible to others.   This will happen because others will expect you to just go along with their ideas and their requests.    In turn, this will make you feel frustrated because you are not expressing your opinions and you are not being seen as a valuable member of the team.

Assertive vs. Passive Aggressive Communication

How many times have we encountered passive-aggressive people?    This type of communication is clear when someone does not tell you how they really feel, but it is clear that something is bothering them. They never confront people directly, instead, they use indirect strategies like the silent treatment to get what they want

Phrases like:  “sure, I can do this for you, it’s not like I have a life on my own”

Or you might see them rolling their eyes, or simply showing you with their body language, that they are not happy about the situation, even though verbally they say the opposite.

Passive aggressive communicators might appear they want to collaborate but secretly sabotage.

The issue with this type of communication style is that nobody will trust a passive-aggressive communicator.    If you cannot acknowledge your anger, a sense of powerlessness will build up as well as mounted stress.

Assertiveness vs.  Aggressive communication

An aggressive communicator is someone who loses his/her temper with others.  They think that their opinion is the best and they raise their voice in order to lower others, as well as use expansive body language to intimidate others.

They try to control others to make them do what they want.

I probably do not even need to tell you what is the problem with this communication style.   Who wants to be around an aggressive communicator in the workplace?  This will leave this person isolated and there will be resentment in their surroundings

Assertiveness scale

Where do you think you fall on the assertiveness scale? If 0 is not assertive at all, and 10 is very assertive?

Now let me ask you.  Do you give yourself the same score in work, family, or friends situations?

One thing that comes back every time I have a coaching session with a client is the fact that they feel more assertive in certain settings than in others.  They tell me that they feel really confident standing up for their opinions and beliefs with their siblings, but they are terrified to do the same with colleagues.

This happens more often than not because we have some limiting beliefs that apply in specific social settings.  If we grew up in a household where one of the parents was very dominant, it will be more difficult to be assertive, compared to doing it at work with a boss that is open and understanding.

Becoming assertive is a process, it does not happen from one day to another.

How to be more assertive

As mentioned above, becoming assertive is a process, it requires practice and in some cases preparation to know how to react in different situations.  But there are some things you can implement immediately that will make a big difference in the way others perceive you.

1. Body language

The first step to being more assertive in your communication is to start with your body language.   A closed and hunched posture will not help you feel confident to defend your points.    Elongate your posture, open up your arms and look the other person in the eye when you are talking.

2. The I message

One of the biggest mistakes when communicating is to use a lot of “you’s” .

“You” always do that

“you” never help

When the other person hears this, he/she automatically go into defense mode, because they feel attacked.

The power of I, means that we express our opinions and needs from our perspective, and in this way prevent a big confrontation.  How do you do it?  Start your sentences with “I think”, I feel, in my opinion.

“I” statements allow you to be confident and assertive without alienating others.

3. Be clear and to the point

Many times we want to protect other people’s feelings and sugarcoat our requests.   Unfortunately, this is not an efficient way of communicating because it is difficult for the other person to discern what is the message you want to send.    This is why is so important to be clear in our communication, for the other person to know exactly what you need.

For example:

Don’t: Sorry to bother you, I know you are busy, but would it be possible to send me that report at your earliest convenience tomorrow, so I can compile all the information and send it to the client?

DO: I need to send the compiled information tomorrow.  Can you send me your report by 11 am, please?

4. Keep your emotions in check

This is one of the most difficult things when we are having a difficult conversation.  It is normal to feel angry, frustrated, or even like you need to cry.  If you are overcome with emotions, wait to have the conversation until you have calmed down and feel like you can keep your composure.  Breathe in a normal way and pace yourself when you speak.

5. Learn to say no

Setting boundaries for ourselves is one of the most important things we can do if we want to be more assertive.   And learning to say NO is a great starting point.   Take the time to reflect and analyze for yourself the things you don’t want to do anymore and the things you want to say NO to.

6. Take small steps

Remember when I asked you to score yourself on the accountability scale?  It doesn’t matter where you placed yourself, what matters is to understand that there will not be 180° shifts from one day to another.  We cannot expect to go from a 4 to a 10 from one day to another.   If you have scored a 4, aim to improve to a 5.  Make small changes, practice, and see what can you improve.   Once you feel confident you are a 5, aim one step higher and go for a 6.  Becoming more assertive is a journey, and it takes practice.   Embrace the journey and you will see how your communication becomes more efficient.

Did you enjoy reading this post?  There is more interesting content on the blog

The post How to be more assertive appeared first on Creciendo.

1.      Decide on your Weekly and Daily Top 3

Before we start implementing time management techniques, it is important we define what our priorities for the week will be.   Only when we do this, we know how much should be allocated to achieve these tasks.    For example:

–          On Wednesday – you have a big presentation

–          By Friday – a proposal needs to be sent, and some contracts reviewed and signed

Your top 3 are non-negotiable

Therefore your first step will be to set the deadlines in your calendar. So you can have a better overview of how to distribute your time.

Then you will need to decide which moments to block to actually work on these tasks.  If you have a big presentation on Wednesday, then you will need to allocate some time on either Monday, Tuesday, or both to prepare the slides and make sure you are ready for the big moment.

Here is when we move into the daily top 3.

Your Monday top 3 would be

–          Outline of the presentation

–          Preparing graphs for the slides

–          First scan of contracts

You might be wondering, why scan the contracts on Monday, if there are not due until Friday?  Well, what if there is a mistake in the contract that needs to be changed?  Or is something that it was not discussed during the negotiation? Unless you are totally sure the conditions of the contract are correct, do not wait until the last day to give it a quick scan.

So back to the priorities. Same as the weekly ones, these daily top 3 will be non-negotiable.  You will need to block periods of time to work on this without interruptions.    Everything else for that day can be done after you have completed your top 3

2.      Time blocking

Ok! You have decided on your weekly priorities, and some of your daily ones as well.   The next step is to block your agenda, so you make sure there are no interruptions or last-minute appointments added to your calendar, and preventing you from focusing on your priorities.

If you put it visually in your calendar, it will force you to meet your commitment, and it will prevent others from hijacking your agenda and booking you for meetings.

3.      Do not overbook yourself

Something you should always consider when blocking your agenda is to never overbook yourself.  You do not know what could happen.  It might be that one of the tasks you are working on takes you longer than expected, or something rather urgent comes up.   Remember to always add some buffer in your day for any contingencies.

Ideally, you have 10% of your work day NOT scheduled.  Therefore if you are planning to work 6 hours that day, you will have 1 not booked hour, for anything that takes longer.

4.      Single-tasking

It is Monday, you open your calendar and you see that your top priority for the day is to create the layout of the presentation, and to create the graphs for the slides.

If you want to make sure you finish in the 3 hours you allocated for this, you will need to single task. This means you will not be working on the graphs while quickly answering that email that just hit your inbox.  You will not be creating the outline while you are quickly checking your messages on your phone.

research on time management done by the University of California found that once we get distracted it takes us 23min to get back into focus.

Therefore the myth of multitasking to be more productive is a total lie.  In fact, we are more productive if we focus on one thing at a time.

5.      Pomodoro technique to manage your time

What about breaks?  We are not robots, we cannot be expected to sit for 3 hours without needing a drink, or a small break to stretch our legs.  But, will taking a break to hinder my concentration? Will I lose the flow?  Well, it will not if we do it the right way.

Enters the Pomodoro technique.   I love this productivity hack because it has changed the way I work and has helped my coaching clients to become more productive as well.

Here is how it works.

You set your timer for 25 minutes and you work uninterrupted. When the timer goes off, you take a small break of 5 minutes.   This is enough time to stretch your legs and grab something to drink.   When the 5 minutes are up, you go back to your desk and work on another 25min increment.

Why is this time management technique so amazing?  Because research has shown that we are able to focus for two hours straight before we start feeling tired and lose momentum.   However, if we work in 25min increments, with a small break after each sprint, we could actually remain fully focused on one task for up to three hours or more.

6.      Batch working

Another hack to master your time management is to batch similar activities, so they can be completed at the same time.  For example, do you need to pay bills?  Block a time in your calendar once a week or every two weeks and gather all your invoices in one place and get it done.   Batching similar activities saves you time, imagine if every two days you will search for the invoice, look for your bank card, and log into the bank account, only to repeat the process the next day or within two days.   Save valuable minutes, by doing all the payments at the same time.

Be creative with the technique.  A coaching client decided that he will batch his meetings on Tuesday and Thursday afternoons, so he was more effective.

7.      Block focus period

At this time and age, we need to defend our calendars and create space for focus on the things that actually move the needle toward our goals.   The only way to do it is by blocking these periods when we can fully concentrate on one specific task or when we can batch work efficiently.

So besides switching off your email and phone for single-tasking, you can also block your calendar, so your colleagues do not disturb you in the chat or decide to book you for a meeting.

Luckily it is more and more common and accepted to block a calendar with the term FOCUS TIME.  A client of mine has actually gone as far as blocking two entire mornings to work uninterrupted on top 3 priorities.   If you open her calendar you will see Monday and Thursday mornings blocked with FOCUS TIME-NO MEETINGS PLEASE

This has allowed her to stress less with all the constant interruptions she was receiving, and to be  more focused when she attended meetings because she was not thinking about her pending to-do list

8.      Document and create processes

Do you perform some tasks every once in a while? And you keep forgetting steps every time you perform them? Then you need to start documenting and creating checklists for yourself, so you take the thinking out of these tasks.

Let me give you an example of another client of mine.  Let’s call him Mike.   Mike is a small entrepreneur who has an accountant to do the quarterly taxes for him.   However, Mike still needs to send all the documentation to the accountant so she can process them.

One of the challenges was to remember everything he needed to send, and the accountant kept sending him emails because there was information missing.   So he created a checklist of all the things that needed to be sent to the accountant.  Now he only has a look at the list and starts checking boxes.  The accountant never emailed him back again after his submissions

9. Two-minute rule

I learned this time management technique from the book “Getting things done” by David Allen and it has made such a difference when I handle emails.

The rule says that if you can give an answer in 2 minutes or less, you do it right away.   How many times have we delayed answering emails, or text messages because we thought we didn’t have the time? And when we finally did it, we realized it was such a small effort.

This trick helps you as well to keep your emails short and to the point as well.

10. One-touch rule

Finally, the one-touch rule  can also be paired up with the tip I gave you above.  Let me ask you another question.  How many times do we not read the same email over and over again, we decided to check the message when we were out or waiting in line, but we could not reply or had to go back to our desk to send the information.   This means that we are “touching the email” multiple times a day, and hence we are wasting time.   With the one-touch rule, you are forced to read your email when you know you can reply, and if it cannot be done in 2 minutes you have three options.

For example, your boss has requested you to prepare a report on the sales of the last two weeks.

Are you able to do this in 2 minutes?  Not really, so you will have to schedule it.

Does the task need information from someone else?  Then you delegate it

Finally, if you were only put on a copy of an email to someone else, then you archive it.

By combining these last two time management rules you will be able to have a clean inbox with only the activities your need to follow up on and hence liberate your mind from stress.

Did you enjoy reading this post?  There is more interesting content on the blog

The post 10 Time Management tips that will transform your week appeared first on Creciendo.